Diary 16th August 2017

I am heading up for three years sober. Today is a good day. In sobriety much has changed. Many things are new to me. I might have done them before but under the influence. Today, together we have reached another day without alcohol my friends, and this is an incredible milestone. Sobriety in many ways left my dance card empty. Without the hours spent drinking and then recovering the next morning, time was abundant in my life. The initial year was akin to awakening to that feeling of dread when you recall your bad behaviour after a binge. There seemed to be no end of people eager to reenact verbatim a full post mortem of my outlandish antics. I almost dreaded going out in public and for many months didn’t ...
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Waking up – 14th Aug 2017

For as long as I can remember I have had a thirst to explore spirituality. I would go as far as to say a calling of sorts. It is an awareness that there is potential I am not fulfilling. The more time I spend looking for answers surfing google and watching YouTube the more confused I become. I can honestly say that until the event I will describe ´WAKING UP´ (enlightened makes it sound more complicated), I was no nearer to finding the answer than I was at the outset. I´m 45 and though for the most part happy, my life before was very different. Maybe I will expand on that in another post. For now, I want to tell you about the events leading up to my self-realisation. I ...
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Personal ad – 29th July 2017

In this, VLOG I share search the cosmos for a husband. Things have changed since my day and I am too old for Grinder it seems. My personal ad makes use of the fact adjectives are by nature subjective. I have stretched the boundaries somewhat. I hope you laugh but see that ageism is rife and I have a lot of good years left in me yet.  As I write this I want to ask you. Is there a subliminal reason groups for bears are so popular with older guys? I am not a bear as such but it's with them I spend my time. Beyond cuddly, they are the most accepting of my peers. Lee Robert Ness https://youtu.be/sJAhgIxmYQA ...
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Video Diary – 28th July 2017

In this, VLOG I share my thoughts on how mistaken my peers are to assume my sexual orientation defines me. I am more than who I sleep with. I don't believe in abandoning my ideas based on one policy. That's like not sleeping with men anymore because one shat the bed. Lee Robert Ness https://youtu.be/DjNM9qF34jM ...
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Revelation – 24th July 2017

I was showering today, and am admittedly a little preoccupied after an exhausting week. My focus is the problems as the good stuff I take for granted.  I go through the post mortem reaching the same conclusion. There is an unexplainable void between the actions of my eager impulsive self and the those I advise my friends and family to undertake. Why can't I stop, listen then act on that smart advice? What happens in between and how do I intervein to benefit from my own advice? Spiritual intervention via film shown on eyelids. My arms pressed against the wall of the shower and the water having long turned cold I close my eyes not knowing why. A scenario unfolds against my lids. It takes the form of an old ...
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